


By A Thread

by KCgirl



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, M/M, POV Rick, Poor Daryl, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:03:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4808972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KCgirl/pseuds/KCgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are the scenes between Rick and Daryl that I would have liked to see following Merle's death. Daryl is grieving and Rick tries to offer support.  It's pre-relationship for the pair, but hopefully you can feel a bit of the love.  This is my first Walking Dead fanfic. Hopefully it's enjoyable</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Return

When he came back, there was no time to talk. He was alive, and so was Michonne. That was all that mattered as we prepared ourselves for the coming attack. The fact that Merle wasn’t with him left a pit in my stomach. I watched him walk through the gates, hair hanging like a mask over his eyes, and I knew immediately what must have happened. Hershel stood behind me, and I knew that he could see it too.

I wanted to go to him. To offer comfort, and tell him about the selfless thing that his brother had done. It may have been the only time that Merle Dixon ever put anyone other than Daryl ahead of himself, but he damn sure made this time count. As I watched him approach, my hands balled into fists, fighting the urge to touch him. This wasn’t the time.

“Glad to see you back son.” Daryl glanced up as Hershel spoke to him, and I saw the tear streaks down his dirty face. 

“Daryl...”

“What can I do?” He cut me off, his voice sounding broken and jagged, as he focused on a spot just over my shoulder. 

“We’re almost ready.” I told him. Hershel nodded in agreement as he reached to put a hand on Daryl’s shoulder. At the last moment, he thought better of it and let his arm drop to his side. 

“I’ll go check on Beth and Judith.” His eyes rested on Daryl again with a soft look, and our archer shifted uncomfortably, his boots kicking at a rock at his feet.

“I’mma check that back fence. They could...”

“Glen’s got it.” I told him. He was already moving away from me, and I took two long strides to catch up to him. 

“Daryl...” I reached out to touch his elbow, and he flinched, moving away from me. I had a flashback to our first meeting back in Atlanta and the days that followed, when he would look at me with contempt plain on his face, moving away when I got anywhere close to him. This time, his avoidance of contact was for a completely different reason and it made my heart ache.

“Wait just a minute.” I told him as he kept walking.

 “This ain’t the time Rick.” 

“You can wait one minute...I just want to talk for a second.” I came around to block his path, and he backed away. 

“No.”

I held my ground, tilting my head and bending down a bit trying to get him to look at me, but he turned away.

“What the hell you worryin’ about me for?” he suddenly demanded. “We’re about to get our asses handed to us by that fuckin’ maniac...you oughta be concentratin’ on Carl Judy! They’re your family! This time tomorrow...”

“You’re family too Daryl.” 

I interrupted him with the phrase he’d said to me when he left to go after his brother, refusing to let me help. He’d gone off alone so that I could stay with my children, willing to sacrifice himself for them, and for me. 

“You’re family too. Don’t forget that.” I felt tears prick the back of my eyes as I said it again. There was so much more I wanted to tell him, and now, I might never get that chance. 

He finally met my gaze, and I could see how much he was fighting to hold on. My heart broke for him in that moment. For so long, Merle was all he had, and now Merle was gone. 

“Daryl, I...”

“Don’t...just...please...” 

He swallowed with visible effort, and I realized absently that I’d never heard the man utter that word before. Daryl Dixon never said please. Probably because he never asked for anything. He took care of himself, and worked like hell to protect everybody else. He hunted for us, fought for us, and killed for us. His own needs were never even a consideration. 

I saw the one hand that hung at his side shaking before he clenched it into a fist, just as I’d done earlier. I knew what he was fighting. That feeling that with one touch, or one tender word from someone, he would literally shatter beneath the weight of his loss. 

He asked for so little. I wouldn’t deny him this.

I stuffed my own hands in my pockets and nodded. 

“Carl’s packin’ up his cell.” I said quietly. “He’s...Beth says he’s pretty upset. Maybe you could go check on him for me? If he needs...”

“ I got it.” he answered. I could see that having a task to tend to gave him the focus that he needed. 

As he turned on his heel and I watched him walk away, I prayed that we would survived this latest crisis. I prayed that once it was over, he’d let me in.


	2. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is there for Daryl when he needs it most.
> 
> I am a hurt/comfort junkie, so this chapter is what I picture occurring when Daryl finally lets Rick get close. All mistakes are my own. I hope you enjoy.

“And I uh...I just wanted you to know that he did apologize, before he left.”

I heard Glen’s hesitant voice as I made my way up the stairs to Daryl’s cell, with a plate of food in my hand.

“Maybe too little too late.” came the reply. “Don’t make up for what he did. I didn’t know...about Maggie...or the...”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Glenn told him. “Maggie’s here. She’s safe, and so are you and Michonne. He tried Daryl.”

“Yeah.” Daryl’s quiet reply came at the end of a sigh. He sounded so tired.

I stepped up so that the two men would see me, and Glenn immediately took that as his cue to leave.

“Glen...” Daryl’s voice stopped the younger man in the doorway. “Thanks.”

With a nod, Glen was gone, leaving me standing awkwardly in his wake.

“Brought you some dinner.” I said, stating the obvious. Daryl sat on his bed, one booted foot flat on the mattress and the other stretched out in front of him as he stared at the wall. He didn’t even glance at the food.

“Ain’t hungry. That’s why I didn’t come down ta eat.”

“You gotta keep your strength up Daryl. It’s been a long day.”

“No shit.” 

I cursed myself for making such a trite comment, but I had to say something. The air between us felt too heavy.

“You find a place for everybody?” he asked, obviously referring to the busload from Woodbury that we’d returned with. “Gonna have to step up my game to keep all a them folks fed.”

“It’s not just your job Daryl. We can all help”

I sat the plate down on the small table in the corner, and wondered if he’d let me sit next to him on the bed. Dealing with Daryl was often like being around a skittish animal, and I didn’t want to scare him off. 

He gave me a look and something akin to a snort. “You gonna break out that crossbow you been hidin’ Grimes? Take down a deer with me?”

I smiled, taking it as a good sign that he at least felt like being sarcastic. I knew I was a terrible tracker, and according to Daryl, louder than a damned herd of elephants in the woods. 

“Nah, I’ll leave that to the expert.” I perched myself on the edge of the bed and Daryl sat up a bit, and backed himself against the wall. 

“I just want you to know, if you need anything...we’re here. I’m here.”

He glanced up at me, and I held his gaze as he pulled his hand to his mouth to chew on his thumb. It was a nervous habit, and I wondered if he’d even realized in that moment that he was doing it.

“ ‘S a hard thing to get used to. Countin’ on people.” 

His voice was quiet in the small cell, and I sat frozen to the spot, not wanting to miss a word of what he had to say. 

“You do so much for all of us Daryl. We wouldn’t have made it without you...”

“Psh... you woulda made it.” He pointed a finger at me. “You’re a tough motherfucker.”

“Ain’t been so tough lately.” I answered. “I should’ve asked for help. Should’ve been there for Carl and my baby girl...”

“You been there. You just...you got lost is all. It happens.”

“After everything we’ve been through, and what you did for me after Judith was born...I know I can count on you Daryl. You need to know that it works both ways.”

Daryl looked away for a moment, with something akin to a smile on his face.

“Tried ta tell Merle that. He just called me a pussy for fallin’ in line. Told him it weren’t like that. I was hopin’ in time he’d see but...”

“Is that why you came back here with him?” I asked the question as I settled back a bit on the bed, and Daryl nodded, his hair in his blue eyes.

“We couldn’t make it out there alone. We’s too different after everything...everything that’s happened”

Daryl shook his head and moved his hand to pick at a hole in the blanket beneath him. ”Couldn’t leave him though. He did what he could ta take care of me, when nobody else gave a shit.”

“He loved you Daryl. Anybody could see that.”

The archer glanced at me again, and I could see he was trying to keep his emotions in check. “He was a dumbass. Can’t believe he went along with that psycho...”

“He was tryin’ to survive. Just like the rest of us.” I put a hand up when Daryl gave me a sharp look. “I ain’t sayin’ what he did was right...but he was your brother. In the end, he did do the right thing. He let Michonne go...”

Daryl gave a nod and went back to worrying the hole in the blanket. I wanted so badly to touch him, but I held myself back.

“He went all the way back to Woodbury. Took out a a bunch a those fuckers before...” Daryl blinked, and I could see his eyes glittering with tears.

“Did you see it?” I asked gently.

“N...No. It was already too late when I got there. He turned.”

“Oh Daryl...I’m sorry.”

The archer shook his head almost violently, and pressed the heal of his hand into his eyes. 

“Told ya a long time ago, ain’t nobody can kill Merle but Merle. He went in there...he knew he wouldn’t make it out.”

“It was a great thing he did for us.” 

As I spoke, I reached to put my hand on his arm and squeezed. He let his head fall back against the wall as he turned to look at me, and I could see that he didn’t have the strength to keep hiding. 

This man was always so physically strong, never showing fear when he was alone in the woods, or when he was fighting a hoard of walkers. Now he was completely wrung out, his blue eyes full of tears and unnamed emotions.

“Don’t know what to do now. Thought once I got ‘im back maybe I could...could show ‘im...”

“Daryl...”

He let out a strangled noise, and I moved to put an arm around him. In the next moment, he broke down with a sob, his forehead falling to my shoulder.

“ ‘m sorry...sorry...” he choked out the words, and I reached for him, pulling him close.

“It’s alright.” I whispered. “I got you.” He only cried harder as I put both arms around him, and I felt his hand on my back as he gripped my shirt. His whole body was trembling. 

 

The only knowledge I had of Daryl’s childhood was what I’d pieced together from sentence fragments, and afterthoughts that he’d allowed to slip through the walls he’d built around himself. 

I shivered myself, thinking about what it had been like. No one to rely on save for his brother, no tenderness, no comfort. No one to hold him like this when he cried.

Yet somehow, in the midst of all of that pain, he’d hidden a truly gentle soul. A secret part of himself that he had allowed me to see. I kissed the top of his head, as though he was that little boy that must have felt so alone growing up. He burrowed closer to me, and I held on as tightly as I could. 

“I’m here Daryl. I ain’t goin’ anywhere...you hear?”

He took great, hiccuping breaths as his grief poured out. I vowed then and there to make sure that this man knew how much he meant to me. He might not return my feelings, but he would know that he was loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking this may need a chapter 3, just to wrap this up...


	3. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Daryl talk about Carl, and RIck connects with his son. This is another scene that I felt was missing from the show. 
> 
> I took Andrea's last name from the Walking Dead video game. This is probably a good time to mention that I don't own the Walking Dead, or any of the characters.
> 
> Hope some of you are still reading. Enjoy!!!

Several minutes later we were still in the same spot. Daryl’s head was tucked under my chin and I held him close. He was quiet now, with only an occasional shuddering breath to indicate what had happened earlier. Neither of us spoke, and I kept expecting him to move away from me, preparing myself for that loss, but he was still here, his arms still around me. I knew this couldn’t last, but I’d be damned if I’d let him go before he was ready.

“You alright?” I finally asked, threading my fingers through his hair. He nodded, shifting slightly, but still not breaking contact.

“You gotta go?” It was a question, rather than a statement or command, and it made me hold on just a bit tighter in answer.

“Thought I’d check on Carl in awhile, but...”

Daryl moved so that he was looking up at me, and I noticed the steel blue of his eyes. They were so often hidden behind his hair, but for the moment he was looking right at me, searching my face. 

“You oughta talk to ‘im Rick. He’s a strong kid but... he needs to hear from you that we ain’t leavin’ this place.”

I sighed, thinking about my son, and all he’d had to face in his life already. This new world could either kill you, or bring you to your knees in a heartbeat. It had almost broken me. What would become of my boy?

“You talked to him before?”

Daryl nodded, still pressed close to me. “He’s gonna make it. He just...he needs his dad.”

I hated to leave Daryl, but he was right. I needed to see Carl, and let him know that we were ok. That no matter how many new people we took in, he was still the most important thing to me. With a sigh, I scooted forward to get off the bed and Daryl moved immediately so that I could stand. There was still so much more I needed to say, and I had no idea where to start.

“Look Daryl, I want to...”

“Thanks...”

His voice was so soft that I barely heard it over my own. “What?”

“Thanks...for...” he made a motion with his hand and I knew that might be as close as he would get for acknowledging the fact that he’d cried in my arms.

“Ain’t nobody ever...done that for me before.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled slightly and glanced at the soup and bread that sat on his table. 

“Can I ask you to do something for me?”

“Y-Yeah.” He sat up straighter, ready to take on whatever task was necessary. 

“Can you eat some of that soup? You didn’t have any breakfast either...”

“I can do that.” 

He answered quietly, his eyes downcast. That phrase, so short and simple, brought up a flood of memories for me. I thought of all the times I’d heard him say it. and I realized that since I’d met this man, there was virtually nothing that he’d refused to do for me. He was always there, no matter what, supporting me.

“Thank you.”

I took a step closer, wanting to put my arms around him again, wondering, as I’d done more and more often lately, what it might feel like to brush my lips against his in a kiss. I just wanting to be close to him.

Instead of doing what I wanted to, since that might earn me a busted lip or worse, I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“When I come back, that bowl better be empty.”

“You’re comin’ back?” he looked up at me, and spoke with a hopeful tone in his voice. In that moment he sounded almost like that little boy that I imagined him to be earlier. 

“Unless you’re gettin’ sick of me. Don’t wanna wear out my welcome.”

“No...no...‘s fine.” Daryl gave a quick nod, and then stood up to usher me out of his cell. 

“Go on and see ta Carl, and I’ll...I’ll eat.”

He gave a small smile then, his face still blotchy from crying. Of it’s own volition, my hand reached for his, and held on. When he didn’t let go, I made a decision. I knew that telling him how I felt would change everything, but the bigger mistake would be keeping it to myself. Things changed so quickly now. One of us could be gone tomorrow. I had to tell him how I felt while I had the chance.

“I wanna talk when we get back, Ok?”

“Ok.”

He held my gaze for another moment, and then let the sheet drop in front of his cell, obscuring him from my view. 

 

 

I found Carl down in the boiler room, surrounded by pieces of wood, and the remnants of the mattress that Merle had destroyed. Had that really been just a couple of days ago? It felt more like months.

I stood for a moment in the doorway, just watching my son work. Quiet moments were hard to come by in this new world.

“Hey.” He acknowledged me without looking up from his work. It was the first time he’d actually spoken to me since we’d returned with the “refugees” from Woodbury.

“What ‘r you workin’ on?” I asked.

“A marker for Daryl.” He held up a wooden cross, with the name “Dixon” written on the crosspiece in large block letters.

“For Daryl?” I took a step forward, feeling confused.

“Well...it’s for Merle but he’s not really there so...it’s for Daryl to visit if he wants to.”

I nodded, and was instantly touched by the thoughtfulness of Carl’s gesture, so much so , that I blinked quickly to keep tears at bay.

“I made one for Andrea too...” he pointed to another cross, and I could see the name “Harrison” written on it.

I had only briefly visited the space that Glenn and Maggie had marked for Lori, which was next to T-Dog’s grave, but I knew that Carl visited that spot frequently, and I prayed that he found some comfort there. It made sense that he would want to give Daryl the same thing. I came closer and crouched down next to him. 

“These are real nice Carl.”

“You think it’s ok?” he asked, hesitation in his voice.

“Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t wanna make him upset...” Carl began.

“This just shows you care about him son. It’ll mean the world to ‘im. He might not say much but...”

“When does Daryl ever say much Dad?”

I shrugged, and chuckled. “Can’t argue with that.”

“I’m almost done.” Carl looked up at me, still so young, despite all that he’d lived through. “Do you think I could give it to him tonight, or...”

“Sure.” I smiled again, glad that we were talking. “I just took him some dinner, so he’s probably finishing up. This’ll be a good time to do it.”

“Ok.” with a small smile, Carl inspected the marker one more time and then began to pick up the scraps of wood that were left.

“Carl...” I reached for him, and put a hand on his shoulder, half expecting him to back away. He just looked at me. 

“Yeah Dad?”

Now that I had his attention, I didn’t know what to say. I was the one at a loss for words, for once.

“I’m sorry son...when your Mom died I...”

“Dad...” 

Carl shook his head, but I wouldn’t be deterred. “We have to talk about this Carl. You have to know that you...you and your sister are the most important things in my life. You always will be.”

He watched me for a moment, as though gaging the truth of my words. “You got people counting on you. I know that.”

“I was wrong, not askin’ for help before, but I...” I realized I still wasn’t able to express the tangled mess of guilt, grief and anger that bubbled to the surface when I thought of Lori. I stopped to take a breath.

“I’m sorry too Dad. I just got mad when I saw that bus full of people. It’s too much for you...all these people that we don’t even know...”

“It’s not just me son. We got Daryl, and Herschel...Glenn and Maggie. We’re not alone. No matter what happens, we got each other.”

I held his gaze, and finally, he nodded. 

“I love you Carl, with all my heart. Everything I’ve done...everything I do, is because of you and Judith.”

Carl sniffled a bit, and then he practically fell against me, hanging on. Apparently I was the strong one tonight, and that was just fine with me. Knowing that I could offer comfort and support to my son and to the man that I felt so much for renewed me somehow.

I sat silently with Carl on the concrete floor while he cried, grieving for his mother, and trying to accept all of the changes that we had gone through since this whole nightmare began. After just a few minutes, he took a shaky breath and wiped his eyes.

“I’m better now...” he said quietly.

“Good.” I reached over and smoothed his messy hair, like I used to do when he was younger. “Any time you need to talk, I’ll listen, Ok?”

I stood, and helped Carl to his feet, as he clutched the grave marker in his hand.

“Let’s go see Daryl.” I told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the final chapter, and it was not supposed to involve RIck having a heart to heart with Carl, but...things happened. I'm not sure this chapter fits in with the rest of the story, but I had to get it written. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear what you think!


	4. Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl has something for Daryl
> 
> *Somehow, in my rush to post this, I posted it twice and then deleted the chapter with a few comments already posted. Just wanted to say thanks to those that are reading* New chapter will be up soon :)

We walked along the lower cell block in silence for a few moments, before Carl spoke.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” I answered, putting my hand on his back as we walked.

“I was worried about Daryl making it back.”

“Why?” I asked. Just the thought of Daryl not coming back to us...to me...made me feel queasy.

“He’s...he does a lot for us. For you especially.” Carl glanced up at me, and then continued. “I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I’m not.” I told him. “I have you, and Herschel, Glenn and Maggie...”

“I know, but Daryl is....Daryl. I know he means a lot to you.”

I looked at my son, wondering if my feelings for Daryl could be more obvious to others than they were to me. 

“You’re right. He does.”

“You should tell him that. I bet it would make him happy.”

I didn’t say anything more, since we were just a few steps from Daryl’s cell.

The sheet covering the entrance to the cell was pulled back slightly, and I could see Daryl lying on his bed, his hands behind his head. As soon as he heard us he sat up.

“Hey.”

“I’m back.” I smiled. I noticed the empty soup bowl sitting on the table, and Daryl saw me looking at it.

“Soup weren’t bad.” he said, then looked at Carl, who was standing next to me.

“What ‘r you up to?” he asked.

“Um...” Carl looked up at me, suddenly nervous.

“Go ahead.” I urged.

“I brought you something.” he stepped forward, the homemade marker still behind his back.

“What?” 

Daryl’s confusion was obvious as he looked back and forth between us. His expression became unreadable as soon as Carl showed him the cross he had made, with Daryl’s surname written across it.

“It’s for Merle,” Carl quickly explained. “I thought you might want to find a spot...I mean, I know he’s not really here but you could...”

Daryl reached out and took the cross in his hand, and Carl fell silent, watching the older man closely. Daryl still said nothing, his body stock still. 

“You made this?”

Carl nodded, and I found myself just as tense as my son, waiting for Daryl’s reaction.

He reached to touch the crosspiece, his finger tracing the D that had been carved into the wood. His chin dropped to his chest, and I heard him draw a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry...I just thought...” Carl started to apologize, and Daryl looked up at him, his eyes red.

“Would ya come with me?” he suddenly asked. “To find the right place?” His voice was rough with emotion, and he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Yeah.” Carl nodded and then looked to me again. I just squeezed his shoulder. This was a moment between him and Daryl.

“Think you could spare him tomorrow mornin’?” Daryl asked the question, trying to be funny. He knew Carl and I spent most of our days now in the garden.

“I think that can be arranged.”

“Maybe after breakfast then?”

“Sure.” Carl smiled, and I could tell he was suddenly embarrassed. When all was said and done, he was still a kid. “I’m gonna read for awhile before bed.”

“Don’t stay up too late.” I told him, pulling him in for a hug whether he wanted one or not. Apparently he wanted one, because he put both arms around me and squeezed. 

“ ‘Night Dad.”

“Good night. Love you.”

“See ya tomorrow Daryl.” He was out in the corridor before Daryl spoke.

“Carl...”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Carl gave him a smile, and then he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to We Will Spock You who is always so supportive of my efforts, no matter the fandom, and Rickyl Lover who writes the most awesome Rickyl pieces ever!!! 
> 
> Please review if you have time. I'd love to know what you think of this little drabble. There will be a chapter 2....


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